First night duty

Yesterday, the in-laws moved the cot into my room and they told me to look after Brian tonight. This is the first time since I came back from the hospital that I get to look after him at night myself.

For the past 2 weeks, the in-laws had been taking turns to watch over the baby at night. Should i feel excited? NO. First of all, I had not been sleeping for more than 3 hours every night since I am back from the hospital.

The pain from the wound had been keeping me awake. Now that the wound had finally closed up and the dressing removed by the gynae, the pain still decides to linger on. Whenever the top of the panties slides down onto the wound, it will cause me to bite my teeth.

As I type this post this morning, all I can update is, I simply NEVER sleep last night. When i finally able to fall into a slumber, Brian decides to get my attention. I pulled myself up from bed with a make-shift string constructed by my in-laws to help myself up at night (i can’t use my abdominal muscles) and that’s the end of my sleep - a task which has never started anyway. After the first feed which lasted till 2.30am, I dragged Hubbie up to take over me from there.

I think they realized that it’s a bad decision as I ended up being all grouchy whole night/morning. I snapped at or ignore everyone that tries to strike a conversation with me.

A thought came into my mind. What have i gotten myself into? I realized I like kids, but not newborns. Crying is something not cheerful to one’s sleep and ears.