Pieces of Life Puzzles

Today’s the first day Brian laugh so much when I play the tickle-oh-tickle game.  The game was played by placing my two fingers on his two cheeks and pat gently. Then i move my two fingers down his chest and ‘walk’ down all the way to his belly button where i gently poke it.

There’s nothing much one can play with a newborn as they can get cranky at times. Especially Brian, who is cranky most of the time. So these are some of the rare moments with him.

I think I am better at entertaining kids rather than taking care of them.

Tags: Brian

No amount of chinese kungfu, karate, taekwondo etc can help you defend against the lethal weapon wielded by a baby — CRYING

Nothing can be more fearful than that, not even an experienced motorcycle accident attorney can handle the little one if i were to bring Brian to court. I am surprised that I can still keep myself sane, and not spiral deep into depression through the weeks; though i admit there are little episodes of outburst now and then.

If I were to give Brian a nickname, I will name him after my favourite care bear – Mr Grumpy. Look at his tummy, apparently he cries a lot too. ^_^ He really takes after me when i was a baby. A challenge from heaven? Or a little punishment for me after how much I’ve ‘tortured’ my mum when i was young. Oh nooo please…. i am sorry mum

I guess years of being amongst difficult and out-of-the-world students does help to cultivate some sort of patience that kept me in check faster.

For the past few days, I had been trying to decipher what his cries means. I even resort to reading books on it.

When a baby cries, it could be he is:

• in pain, sick
• hungry
• bored in his cot
• just want a cuddle
• wet his nappy
• feel hot or cold
• uncomfortable

What a challenge!

P.S : now i wonder why child/infant care teachers are so lowly paid. They should be paid more than engineers! Looking after ONE grumpy kid like mine is equivalent to handling several #### bosses!

Tags: Brian

I am given two days off from “night duty” and tonight, will be my turn again. Actually, night duties are not a bad thing if Brian is not fussy. On normal peaceful days, you will only need to feed him twice in the night. I guess it depends on one’s luck.

After 3 weeks of c-sect wound site pain, I can now finally turn in bed and get out of bed without assistance this week. It’s such a torture that i would discourage people with low pain threshold to take up c-sect if they can help it. For the past 3 weeks, I had been going back to the gynae every single week to the point that he can even call my name without referring to the patient card.  I’ve heard comments that he has too many patients to get personal with them or even remember their names.

As the role of motherhood gets sunk in deeper this week, i started to realize that I am carrying a huge responsibility on my shoulders. Even though Brian is barely one month old, many things are revolving around  him. The number of different kind of vaccinations, life/hospital insurance etc are driving me to the wall.

The only thing that still haunt me are his cries. I had great difficulties deciphering what he wants when he suddenly wails out loud while minutes earlier he is asleep peacefully. Is it hungry? Is it a nightmare, or is it just purely boredom? There was one day where he cries every 5-10 minutes. Wow, really a GREAT test of my patience which usually doesn’t last more than 5 minutes. At times, the pacifier doesnt work and I have to resort to picking him up now and then. *perspire* – some newborns requires really great maintenance.

Now i know why some people like kids when those kids are not their own. It’s so different if that little kid belongs to you. There are nightmares which outsiders can’t see when it comes to taking care of them.

Tags: Brian

Yesterday, the in-laws moved the cot into my room and they told me to look after Brian tonight. This is the first time since I came back from the hospital that I get to look after him at night myself.

For the past 2 weeks, the in-laws had been taking turns to watch over the baby at night. Should i feel excited? NO. First of all, I had not been sleeping for more than 3 hours every night since I am back from the hospital.

The pain from the wound had been keeping me awake. Now that the wound had finally closed up and the dressing removed by the gynae, the pain still decides to linger on. Whenever the top of the panties slides down onto the wound, it will cause me to bite my teeth.

As I type this post this morning, all I can update is, I simply NEVER sleep last night. When i finally able to fall into a slumber, Brian decides to get my attention. I pulled myself up from bed with a make-shift string constructed by my in-laws to help myself up at night (i can’t use my abdominal muscles) and that’s the end of my sleep - a task which has never started anyway. After the first feed which lasted till 2.30am, I dragged Hubbie up to take over me from there.

I think they realized that it’s a bad decision as I ended up being all grouchy whole night/morning. I snapped at or ignore everyone that tries to strike a conversation with me.

A thought came into my mind. What have i gotten myself into? I realized I like kids, but not newborns. Crying is something not cheerful to one’s sleep and ears.

Tags: Brian