Pieces of Life Puzzles

I am given two days off from “night duty” and tonight, will be my turn again. Actually, night duties are not a bad thing if Brian is not fussy. On normal peaceful days, you will only need to feed him twice in the night. I guess it depends on one’s luck.

After 3 weeks of c-sect wound site pain, I can now finally turn in bed and get out of bed without assistance this week. It’s such a torture that i would discourage people with low pain threshold to take up c-sect if they can help it. For the past 3 weeks, I had been going back to the gynae every single week to the point that he can even call my name without referring to the patient card.  I’ve heard comments that he has too many patients to get personal with them or even remember their names.

As the role of motherhood gets sunk in deeper this week, i started to realize that I am carrying a huge responsibility on my shoulders. Even though Brian is barely one month old, many things are revolving around  him. The number of different kind of vaccinations, life/hospital insurance etc are driving me to the wall.

The only thing that still haunt me are his cries. I had great difficulties deciphering what he wants when he suddenly wails out loud while minutes earlier he is asleep peacefully. Is it hungry? Is it a nightmare, or is it just purely boredom? There was one day where he cries every 5-10 minutes. Wow, really a GREAT test of my patience which usually doesn’t last more than 5 minutes. At times, the pacifier doesnt work and I have to resort to picking him up now and then. *perspire* – some newborns requires really great maintenance.

Now i know why some people like kids when those kids are not their own. It’s so different if that little kid belongs to you. There are nightmares which outsiders can’t see when it comes to taking care of them.

Tags: Brian